300# CLUB - Hell Yeah!!!!

 Last year I had a goal of trap bar deadlifting 300#, I pulled #295 and never got 300#.  It was at the end of the year, my body was angry with me and I was ignoring the major issues I was having because quite honestly I was too damn stubborn to admit I needed serious help.  In my mind things would ease up for a day so that meant I was getting better.  

I was never getting any better and everyone around me, especially Kyle, was wanting so badly for me to get the help and procedures I needed but I didn't listen to anyone.  Sometimes we don't know why we make the choices we do but looking back I do wish I would have listened to those who loved me so much at the time.  Instead I pushed my body far beyond it's limits, I was living life extremely anemic, constantly losing blood and in so much pain but I told myself I could tough through it.

Thankfully I came to my senses, a little too late as COVID caused delays in my hysterectomy and I found myself in some scary situations.  After healing my body and then working on healing my mind and my heart I reset my goal of 300#.

There were changes in training after our gym closed and Kyle and I separated.  I needed my space and I know he did too so I wasn't training with him.  I still got workouts from him but trained on my own or with my bad ass friend Brenda.  Thinking of trying that PR lift without him was hard for me sometimes and I just didn't bring myself to try it.

Then one day Brenda and I had a heavy leg day a couple of weeks ago.  In my head I thought maybe I could try it that day but never mentioned it to Brenda.  On my 3rd set I did 8 reps at 255# and she was like, go for 300# next set.  At first I wasn't sure I wanted to baby step up but she was ready to see me go for three after the lifts I just did and with her support I went for it.

You guys, I was shocked just SHOCKED at how easy it was to get the weight up so I went for more reps and got THREE!!!!  I was fucking PUMPED!!!  I mean you can probably tell from the video with that silly smile on my face as I did those reps.  I felt STRONG.  I felt CAPABLE.  I felt so fucking PROUD of myself!!!  To achieve this goal of mine at the end of a year where so much in my life has changed and I have felt so much loss, it just reminded me that I GOT THIS.

Now to move on to competition prep which will be so different than any before and I am more than ready.  Kyle will help me achieve my best physique to date with his guidance and I am so excited for that!

2020 has felt like so much loss but through my self care with amazing guidance I am realizing it has been a year of moving forward, life has big things planned for me and the Universe needed to shake things up so I could see that.  I'm telling you, I SEE IT and I will not hold myself back from great things I know I will accomplish.

Life Changes - Starting "Anew"

 

It has been a while since I have shared on my blog and as my journey in life is changing in so many ways this seems like the right time to start sharing again.  I have some big goals ahead of me that I am very excited to CRUSH as I work to get back on stage next spring.

The road to the stage will be very different this time.  This year has been incredibly difficult in so many ways from the affects of COVID to a major storm that hit Iowa, a land hurricane called a DERECHO and realizing that sometimes the best way to move forward in life is to allow some things to come to an end.

For Kyle and I the affects COVID had on our gym from having to close for a month to Kyle not being able to do much for sales and having a really hard time getting people into our physical location it was just devastating.  His health has continued to be a major challenge for him and he continues to try to find answers.  Most days he was unable to do much and leading classes was difficult for him.  We did have some wonderful new trainers and one of our coaches really stepped up her game to help Kyle every day with all of the gym business from teaching classes to writing workouts and just learning from Kyle.  I have to give a shoutout and thank you to Keegan, we wouldn't have made it as far as we did without her.  I also have to give a shoutout to Stephanie for all she has done for us.  They both made a world of difference and have had such a positive impact.

With heavy hearts we had to close our physical location at the end of September.  It was a decision neither of us wanted to make but we could not survive, it was heartbreaking and very sudden.  The last week of classes was so emotional, I was incredibly blessed to have had the experience I did there from leaving my comfort zone and actually teaching classes to writing kickboxing classes.  Kickboxing was my absolute favorite and I came to love teaching it so, so much.  I miss my people, I miss the group fitness, I miss what was but I know things happen for a reason.

During this time Kyle and I had our own personal struggles happening that we tried so hard to work through together.  Marriage is incredibly difficult and sometimes two people who love each other realize that even though there is so much love there, it isn't enough.  We made the decision to separate and came to the decision amicably.  Our marriage may be ending but our family, relationship and friendship are not.  We will remain a united front, doing everything that is best for our Bella, supporting one another on our new paths in life.

I will not lie and say everything has been sunshine and rainbows, far from it.  What led us to this decision was a lot of heartache but also understanding, it is by far the most difficult experience of my life and will be for a long time.  This is the most difficult change to go through and some days I physically hurt.  Then some days I feel a happiness within myself that hasn't been there for a very long time.  I am working very hard on myself and I am a huge advocate for mental health, I have an amazing therapist who is helping to guide me through all of this.  I wish everyone could have a therapist because it is so important to work through the obstacles in your life and truly find who you are.

Kyle and I have respect and love for one another that will forever be with us and I am grateful for that.  I am continuing as a coach for G5 and he is coaching me for my next figure competition in 2021.  He is the best at what he does and with his guidance I will bring the best ME to that stage and he will be supporting me all the way there.  

My workouts have changed just a bit as I am back to training at a large fitness center.  It's been so long since I've worked out in a place like this, I love it because there is such an insane amount of equipment to work with.  I'm not gonna lie, I was slightly scared to go the first time I went by myself and stepped into the free weight area.  But I grabbed my weights, caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror and remembered I am one badass chick that knows her way around the weight room and can lift some serious weight.

It is also really nice to have equipment at home in my garage so I can train at home too when I want.  My friend and fellow competitor Brenda also has an awesome gym in her home so we train there or at the gym we go to.  I love having her with me on this journey, she kicked ass in her first figure competition with so many challenges including extending her cut because her competition kept getting rescheduled.  She is an amazing woman who inspires me so much!!

It feels good that I can say I am currently at the best place physically I have ever been in my entire life.  All the years I spent striving to do things a certain way when all it took was just finally becoming comfortable with the process, doing what I enjoy and trusting the process.  I am eating more than I ever have before, having killer workouts and truly feel happy in this body of mine.  This place I am in has set me up for a great experience with my next cut.  There isn't quite as much body fat to cut down and I know Kyle is going to have me the leanest I have ever been on stage.  I am more than ready for my journey in competing and will continue to share it here.

As I navigate through life's huge changes I know there will be many peaks and valleys.  The valleys have proven tough to get through but I am surrounded by so much support and they help me make my way back up to the valley.  I am trusting in my journey and the path I am on and will try to be ready for the bumps along the way.  I got this.