It has been a while since I have shared on my blog and as my journey in life is changing in so many ways this seems like the right time to start sharing again. I have some big goals ahead of me that I am very excited to CRUSH as I work to get back on stage next spring.
The road to the stage will be very different this time. This year has been incredibly difficult in so many ways from the affects of COVID to a major storm that hit Iowa, a land hurricane called a DERECHO and realizing that sometimes the best way to move forward in life is to allow some things to come to an end.
For Kyle and I the affects COVID had on our gym from having to close for a month to Kyle not being able to do much for sales and having a really hard time getting people into our physical location it was just devastating. His health has continued to be a major challenge for him and he continues to try to find answers. Most days he was unable to do much and leading classes was difficult for him. We did have some wonderful new trainers and one of our coaches really stepped up her game to help Kyle every day with all of the gym business from teaching classes to writing workouts and just learning from Kyle. I have to give a shoutout and thank you to Keegan, we wouldn't have made it as far as we did without her. I also have to give a shoutout to Stephanie for all she has done for us. They both made a world of difference and have had such a positive impact.
With heavy hearts we had to close our physical location at the end of September. It was a decision neither of us wanted to make but we could not survive, it was heartbreaking and very sudden. The last week of classes was so emotional, I was incredibly blessed to have had the experience I did there from leaving my comfort zone and actually teaching classes to writing kickboxing classes. Kickboxing was my absolute favorite and I came to love teaching it so, so much. I miss my people, I miss the group fitness, I miss what was but I know things happen for a reason.
During this time Kyle and I had our own personal struggles happening that we tried so hard to work through together. Marriage is incredibly difficult and sometimes two people who love each other realize that even though there is so much love there, it isn't enough. We made the decision to separate and came to the decision amicably. Our marriage may be ending but our family, relationship and friendship are not. We will remain a united front, doing everything that is best for our Bella, supporting one another on our new paths in life.
I will not lie and say everything has been sunshine and rainbows, far from it. What led us to this decision was a lot of heartache but also understanding, it is by far the most difficult experience of my life and will be for a long time. This is the most difficult change to go through and some days I physically hurt. Then some days I feel a happiness within myself that hasn't been there for a very long time. I am working very hard on myself and I am a huge advocate for mental health, I have an amazing therapist who is helping to guide me through all of this. I wish everyone could have a therapist because it is so important to work through the obstacles in your life and truly find who you are.
My workouts have changed just a bit as I am back to training at a large fitness center. It's been so long since I've worked out in a place like this, I love it because there is such an insane amount of equipment to work with. I'm not gonna lie, I was slightly scared to go the first time I went by myself and stepped into the free weight area. But I grabbed my weights, caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror and remembered I am one badass chick that knows her way around the weight room and can lift some serious weight.
It is also really nice to have equipment at home in my garage so I can train at home too when I want. My friend and fellow competitor Brenda also has an awesome gym in her home so we train there or at the gym we go to. I love having her with me on this journey, she kicked ass in her first figure competition with so many challenges including extending her cut because her competition kept getting rescheduled. She is an amazing woman who inspires me so much!!
