Friday, October 31, 2014

Keep Yourself On Track

Staying on track can be difficult at times, I am certain that is true for many people other than myself.  Yes I have many long term goals, even my next competition seems so far away.  I've got just over six months to go before I step on stage again.  Plenty of time to continue building a better physique while giving myself enough time to cut.  It just seems so FAR AWAY.

I've been going through many peaks and valleys in the month of October, mostly valleys.  So many times I say to myself, why are you the way you are?  Snap out of the sadness and sometimes slight anger over changes, life changes constantly and I still struggle at the age of 33 to accept it.  I can be so selfish, I am not afraid to admit that.  I depend on those around me, especially those who affect me in such a way that they are a part of who I am.  This month with a big move and now another friend having difficulties that will pull him away from me for quite some time, it is HARD.

These are times when I need to learn to reach out to other amazing friends and family I am blessed to have.  I do worry I will bother some people but then I'm reminded of how silly those thoughts are when they reach out to me themselves just to check on me.

My emotions have been in complete control, ruling my every day life lately.  I've gotten in workouts but they haven't been what I want them to be.  My body is angry with me, the stress I've allowed on myself has taken a huge toll.  Last night Kyle and I had a long talk, he is the one that knows me like no other.  He sees the changes in me, he gives me time to try to deal with situations on my own but he always knows when he needs to step in and bring me back to reality.  Life changes, life can be challenging, I can't control everything around me but I can control my own destiny.  Those who have gone far away are still here for me, our connection is still strong the physicality of being with them may not be possible but that only changes things slightly.

Running again has made me feel so happy.  I decided to check out races in the area and found The Return of the Turkey Trot.  My sister Jenn and I will be running the 8k.  It makes me excited and very happy to have this goal that is very close, it will help keep me on track and motivate me in a way that I've been searching for.

November will be a different month, digging deep to grow within myself.  Getting the plan set out for May 2015, readying myself for the awesomeness I will bring to the stage because I have the DRIVE, DESIRE and DISCIPLINE to be the best ME I can be.

December may bring on a fun deadlift challenge I've talked about before, 400 deadlifts.  I think Kyle will be on board with that :)

Set up little goals for yourself, stay on track.  Have your moments where you feel off and know there is nothing wrong with that as long as you find yourself again and continue to work hard for all of your goals!

Monday, October 27, 2014

Volleyball, Running, More Protein!

Last night was an awesome night of volleyball, we finally played really well together and won all of our games!!!  I still can't believe how I can jump indoor, I honestly can't say that I prefer sand over indoor or vice versa.  Having the ability to jump and get above the net is empowering.  I so wish I could do that in the sand!  Then again I don't dive indoor like I do outdoor, there are positives for both :)

I had multiple hits but the best one was when I was playing setter.  The other team hit the ball center net and I couldn't resist, I jumped up and slammed that ball!  My team was surprised, I was surprised, my confidence is growing indoor and I am almost anxious for Sunday nights :)

Today I ran 2.5 miles, it was very warm out, 77 degrees.  With the sun beating down on me I was drenched in sweat about a mile in, I didn't feel the greatest.  Kyle and I had a really good chest and back workout on Saturday, I'm still extremely sore today.  The run loosened me up but I could feel the soreness throughout the entire run, I was so happy when I got done.  9:32 for my mile splits, it will be nice the entire week and I look forward to getting in a couple more runs.

For my afternoon protein shake I had the V-Core Vantage orange creamsicle, O.M.G.  Ever had Orange Julius?  Well it tastes pretty much exactly like that, no joke.  This is definitely becoming a favorite protein for me, blends well, no chunks at all and the flavors are so amazing.  

Friday, October 24, 2014

2.25 Mile Run & Product Review

Today I ran 2.25 miles.  How is it that your first run always feel awesome and a run the next day feels so crappy?  That's how it works for me anyway.

I really wanted to walk, but I wouldn't let myself.  My lungs were good it was my legs that wanted to give out.  After the first mile the run did get a little easier and I kept it at the same pace as my previous run.

I wish the weather would always be this amazing, it truly is perfect running weather!

I tried out another different protein, V-Core Vantage, I had the s'mores flavor.  It was AH-MAZING!!!!  Truly tasted like a s'mores, there was a hint of chocolate, a hint of graham cracker and a hint of marshmallow flavor.  Super yummy and it did not upset my tummy at all.  This is one I will definitely need to have stocked in our house.

Tuesday, October 21, 2014

2 Mile Run

It has been over a month since my last run.  I would tell myself to go for a run and instead I would jump rope or go to the gym for cardio on the step mill.  I am so hot and cold when it comes to running, unless I have a race in the near future.  I had picked out a fun race to do in November but then realized it was the same weekend as The Nutcracker, so I scratched that.

The weather has been so amazing, today I told myself that I just HAD to get out and run two miles.  I didn't have high expectations, my goal was to run under 10 minute miles.

I did it!  I ran 9:42 minute miles and I felt awesome.  Luckily running comes fairly easy to me, I may not be the fastest but I can run without walking even after somewhat of a break from running.

Running makes me feel strong and healthy.  Glad I got it in today and plan on running 2.5 tomorrow, getting back in running shape just in time for winter ;)

Have Your Cheesecake And Eat It!

Well I haven't actually made a protein cheesecake quite yet, that would be a good treat to try this weekend though!

Sugar free Jello pudding mixes have changed so much in my world.  Cheesecake is my FAVORITE dessert, I could eat it everyday.  Well now I can :)

Today for one of my snacks I had a cup of plain Greek yogurt and added just one tablespoon of sugar free cheesecake Jello mix.  O.M.G.!!!  Why have I not done this before???

I ended up with a delicious bowl of what I swear was cheesecake filling.  The mix thickened up the yogurt even more and it tasted exactly like cheesecake.


Now to buy every flavor of sugar free Jello pudding mixes and put them to good use.

Friday, October 17, 2014

Athlete Resume - I Actually Have One!

I am on the journey of trying to get sponsored by Complete Nutrition.  I filled out the sponsorship form and Kyle thought it would be a good idea to have an athlete resume to send with it.

I was at a loss as to what I could do for that.  I have never had a resume, ever.  I have worked for the Teamsters Union since I was 20, I didn't have to use a resume then and I don't plan on leaving this job.  I really have never had a need for a resume.

Thankfully my best friend Shalae makes awesome resumes so I reached out to her for help.  All I had to do was give her my information and some photos.  When she sent me the resume I was blown away, I just love, love, love it and never would have thought to do it up like she did!!!!  Thank you Shalae so very much for such an awesome resume :)  Shalae just started a blog at Jock Mom Blog, check it out!

I am a little nervous taking this next step, it is such a big one and will mean so much for my competition journey.  Lets hope Complete Nutrition sees that I am a hard working athlete deserving of a sponsorship!

Fingers crossed :)

Tuesday, October 14, 2014

Indoor Season Begins & Shoulder Day

Indoor volleyball started on Sunday.  It is the first time I've played indoor in YEARS.  I was a little nervous, just not sure if my timing would be off, how my serves would be, diving on the gym floor instead of sand.

I really didn't need to be nervous, it was awesome!  My timing was spot on, I can jump so damn high and get pretty far above the net.  My hits were great, no missed serves, it was a BLAST!!!!

I am so, so happy that I was asked to be on a team and that I said yes.  Year round volleyball is like a dream for me, I wish I would have tried to get on an indoor team before this year.  We didn't win any games but at least they were close, we are a team that hasn't played together before, we just need to figure out our groove :)

Yesterday was my favorite lifting day, shoulders!  I was not able to lift as heavy as I would have liked, lost some strength from not being consistent.  It will come back quickly though.  Kyle is changing things up and man can I feel it today!

I was happy to see the awesome pump I got in my shoulders, really, really loving the new pre-workout I'm using, Rhino and the NX6!

Early mornings for lifts, the darkness is making it tough to get up, but I'm getting it done and it really helps having Kyle making sure I do get up and going with me :)

Wednesday, October 8, 2014

Seasons Change - Life Changes

It seems like with the change of seasons there also come life changes.  This fall has been full of big changes for me, one major change.  My best friend, soul brother, workout partner and so much more has moved to Florida.  Before the move he was very sick and we weren't able to go to the gym together at all the entire month before his move.  I went and tried my best to stay on course.

The past week has not been a good week for my workouts or my nutrition.  I've let myself slip up, a LOT.  I am not angry with myself, I am not beating myself up over it.  I knew I needed some time to really absorb everything that was happening around me.  David leaving, my own health scare, the end of another sand volleyball season, work stresses (which are so rare for me), I let it all consume me.

I apologized to Kyle last night for how I've been lately, seemingly unmotivated, crying all the time and not very positive.  Rather than him telling me what I've been doing wrong he simply said, "it's ok, I know you will snap out of it, I love you".  

Everyone deals with changes differently, I hate change, well not changes in my body as I continue to workout of course!  When I am comfortable with my life and something changes and makes me uncomfortable I just can't stand it.  Sometimes I wish I handled things differently but I am who I am.  I need those few days to really let the reality set in before I can move forward.

It is time for me to move forward, dig deep and get back on track.  Kyle has his regular schedule so we are able to go to the gym together every morning.  Indoor volleyball begins on Sunday, I know that I am healthy, Bella turns 8 in a few days, so much to be happy for.

This journey is so intense sometimes.  There are days when I get too tired and too emotional for the gym and there is nothing wrong with that.  Take the time you need to adjust to changes and know that the gym is always there, waiting for you.

Thursday, October 2, 2014

Love Yourself, Little Ears Hear EVERYTHING

This spoke volumes to me.  I know many women who are unhappy with their bodies, who talk about their flaws, who sadly do not see the completely obvious beauty within themselves.

To those women please know how amazing and beautiful you are!  Rather than speaking ill of yourself speak proudly about yourself.  This is so incredibly important for all the moms out there.  It truly does not matter what size you are, what your nose looks like, any little thing you see as a flaw is not a flaw, it is YOU.  Our children hear us and listen to every word we say, our reflection of ourselves becomes their reflection of themselves.  

You may think you have so much to work on with yourself but then you probably have a child who looks at you and thinks you are the most amazing, perfect person on the planet!  We are their heroes, their role models, their mothers, their best friends and they adore us more than we can know, just as we adore them.

I am not perfect, I know this.  I have my own flaws and yes there was a time in my life where I let them consume me and found myself trying to find perfection.  Let me tell you there is no such thing as perfection and it is not something anyone should expect.

When I had Bella my thoughts about myself changed.  As she grows up I see so much of myself in her and I can say that she is a much more confident version of me, even at the tender age of 7 3/4 (8 in just 11 days!) I see it.  I did not have her incredible courage or confidence.  I hope and pray that we continue to raise her to be this confidant young lady and that she always knows that no matter what she is truly an amazing, beautiful, strong girl.

I've learned more about myself over the past 20 months on my journey with competing than I ever thought I could.  I do not see my flaws, I see my strength, I see my confidence higher than ever, I know MYSELF.  What has that done for my relationship with Bella?

Well to hear her say things like my mommy is strong, my mommy is beautiful, my mommy is happy.  That is what she sees in me and I hope and pray that is also what she will always see in herself.  We have a very strong connection, she cheers me on for competitions, races and volleyball just as I cheer her on for dance, swimming, soccer, running, school concerts and more.  We are each others biggest supporters and that will never change.

I am a beautiful woman and I am blessed with a sweet, beautiful daughter.  Being a mother is the most precious gift, let us raise confident children who grow into confident, kind adults.