Goals are something I truly love and take to heart. I set very specific goals for myself and work hard to achieve every single one in all aspects of life.
As we all know I am currently cutting for my next figure competition but I also have another big goal set for 2019. That goal is to hex bar deadlift 300 pounds. I've wanted to do it for a long time and we spent quite a bit of time this year working on strength. I love lifting heavy it just makes me feel like I am superwoman and gives me so much confidence. Feeling strong is such an incredible feeling.
Last weekend I had issues lifting with my left arm during an upper body workout and that made me finally schedule a massage. It had been about three months since my last massage and that is a long time for me, especially with all the hard training I have been doing!
I love our masseuse, he is truly an incredible human being and so knowledgeable. My body is so much more mobile and happy when I get regular massages and when I keep up on it my body quickly reacts and releases tension easily. If you live in the area and need some body work check out Denny and Kat McFadden at Mc² Bodywork they are simply the best and I cannot recommend them enough!!!
My body was so badly in need of the massage, I knew it would be pretty bad but man. My left lat was like rolled around into my rib cage, no wonder I had issues lifting upper body and I knew it was hindering my really heavy deadlifts. I felt like a new woman after my massage and my lats were finally free, which gave me huge wings! I can't believe how wide my lats have gotten, my quads as well it feels awesome. Now I will be getting regular massages, I know how badly my body will need them as I progress through the cut.
Tonight I decided I wanted to go for 300, I was feeling pretty good. My first pulls were smooth and easy, I even pulled 275# for two reps that felt really good. Then it was time for 300 and my mind started going nuts. It is such a mental game for me and tonight I couldn't beat that mental game. I got the weight off the ground but just couldn't push through to lift it all the way up.
The frustration I felt was so strong, I just can't understand why I couldn't pick up that 300#! I tried multiple times and Kyle was so supportive as were the awesome people who were at the gym working out. Part of me felt a little embarrassed that I totally failed like that. I always strive to be transparent and will be honest about these feelings, we all have them. I was happy with the other pulls I achieved but damn it that 300# feels just out of my reach. My body was completely taxed after this deadlifting session, I gave it my all and will need to recover a little bit before I try again.
I need to trust myself and believe in myself that I can lift that weight. Really, I do know that I am strong enough and I know I am putting way too much pressure on myself. The mental aspect is just as important as the strength aspect. Getting myself into a better place mentally with this goal is so important and I plan to really work on that.
I am off work for the next nine days and plan to relax, do some work I enjoy from home, have lots of time with Bella and in the gym with Kyle. A time to rejuvenate and reset. It's been a crazy year for me at my job with the Teamsters with lots of challenges, some job changes and big steps for me. Finding balance has been difficult and I know the upcoming competition will add to that but I am determined to make everything work.
The competition prep is going well, I am down about 6 pounds and feeling good. I can tell my body is leaning out and measurements are also going down. We haven't had to do anything too crazy so far but starting in a week we are going for a big change. I love the way my nutrition coach, Chris, thinks and how she challenges me. We are going to plan on a 20% caloric reduction for three weeks and see how my body responds. I know my strength will go down it will certainly affect my energy but I am up for the challenge and am excited to see how my body reacts.
I have 19 weeks and it is going to go by so fast. My faith and trust are in the process and the plan laid out before me. The guidance and support from Kyle and Chris is essential and I am so blessed to have them with me on this journey.
Now to relax, reset my mind and look to the next day when I go for that big 300 pound goal again. Even if I don't get it this year it will be ok. That's the great thing about goals, you have the power to change and adjust them just keep working at it. You will get there and so will I!