Monday, March 16, 2015

The Bad Mentality of Numbers

Let's be honest, sometimes numbers suck.  Not fun numbers like how many years you have been with your spouse, or the age of you beautiful children or even the years you've been at a job you enjoy.

Numbers in regard to our weight on the scale and our BMI are something we all hear about from a very young age.  I wish it wasn't that way, but it is.  We see the models in magazines, hear about many of these fitness models and celebrities, what their favorite "fad" diets are and how little calories they consume so they can proudly reveal their lower number they see on the scale.

Not all fitness models are that way, figure, physique and body builders are completely different.  Those women have weight to them, they are not afraid to share their higher numbers with others.

So why am I having such an issue at this moment in my prep?  I can honestly say the scale usually doesn't bother me.  When I've cut my calories and added in cardio for a week and the number doesn't budge a pound that does bother me.  When I stepped on the scale Sunday and saw the same number as last Sunday I was truly disappointed.  My ever supportive and amazing husband was right there telling me not worry about it, that I've spent the past year building muscle so my competition weight will most likely be higher than last year.

Even with his supportive and reassuring words my mind was still in the wrong place.  He saw this and I think for a moment he wasn't sure how to help me through this tough spot.  He went to his gym to make sure everything was good to go for this week and brought home their body fat scale.  I was excited and at the same time terrified.  I am currently at 18% body fat and I weigh 153 pounds.  For my height and weight, on the BMI chart I am the square right before you hit "overweight".  Now I do not have a photo to share of me right now, we will do some this week though.  But I can tell you I am far from being overweight.  

So while I am frustrated with the numbers at the moment I am even more frustrated with the damn BMI chart that is so often used.  It is in no way accurate, I do not care what anyone says and not a single person on this earth could change my mind.  That chart needs to be changed and it should not be used to determine someone as overweight or not.  I don't have a magic answer for what should be used though, in my opinion body fat percentage is the most important thing, but not everyone has the capability to know what their body fat is.

We have decided to drop my calories by 100 this week by slightly lowering my carb and fat intake.  I want everyone to know that I am still consuming a good amount of fat, you cannot burn body fat without taking in good fats.  The last thing I want to do is have my body start to burn off the muscle I've worked so hard for.

I do have high expectations for my weigh in and body fat this coming Sunday.  I will overcome the mental hurdle I am currently experiencing.  You cannot have a weak mind and you certainly cannot be someone comparing yourself to another competitor and striving to look like their body type in the world of figure competing.  I truly am striving only to be better than I was last year.

I will continue working hard and look for the positive changes that I am truly seeing and realize that I still have 8 weeks to go and these final weeks are when the biggest changes happen.  The number on the scale may be higher but that just means I've managed to grow my muscles which was the main goal in the first place!  I will also still work hard to teach my daughter about the process I am going through, she knows how hard I work these final weeks and her pride helps keep me going.  Last night as she was enjoying a piece of cheesecake because I will not deprive her of certain foods only because I can't currently have them, she said to me, "mommy you can have a tiny bite and I won't tell daddy".  It literally made me laugh, she knows her daddy is my trainer and coach, she didn't realize that he was standing in ear shot, he just giggled and told her it was perfectly fine for mommy to have one little bite of cheesecake.  I did have that tiny bite and it was satisfying, I didn't want anymore because then I got to enjoy a chocolate protein mug cake with fat free whipped topping :)

Here is a look at a photo comparison from last year, I can't wait to get another this week to compare to these two.


  1. It's such a mind-F those numbers play in your mind, isn't it? It's flippin insane, actually.

    You're looking great hun - I know you have a long way to go and it's like you said, the biggest changes will come in these next 8 weeks.

    Keep at it and try not to be so hard on yourself, yet staying accountable to your goals. Your legs have definitely gained mass since last year.

    You look great and I look forward to reading about your journey to competition this time around... :)


  2. Thank you so much Lindsay!!! Those photos were actually from 2013 and 2014, I had definitely gained more mass in my legs. We plan on doing photos this weekend to see my progress.

    Some days are just mentally tough, but I'm feeling better and your comment helped with that!