Staying on track can be difficult at times, I am certain that is true for many people other than myself. Yes I have many long term goals, even my next competition seems so far away. I've got just over six months to go before I step on stage again. Plenty of time to continue building a better physique while giving myself enough time to cut. It just seems so FAR AWAY.
I've been going through many peaks and valleys in the month of October, mostly valleys. So many times I say to myself, why are you the way you are? Snap out of the sadness and sometimes slight anger over changes, life changes constantly and I still struggle at the age of 33 to accept it. I can be so selfish, I am not afraid to admit that. I depend on those around me, especially those who affect me in such a way that they are a part of who I am. This month with a big move and now another friend having difficulties that will pull him away from me for quite some time, it is HARD.
These are times when I need to learn to reach out to other amazing friends and family I am blessed to have. I do worry I will bother some people but then I'm reminded of how silly those thoughts are when they reach out to me themselves just to check on me.
My emotions have been in complete control, ruling my every day life lately. I've gotten in workouts but they haven't been what I want them to be. My body is angry with me, the stress I've allowed on myself has taken a huge toll. Last night Kyle and I had a long talk, he is the one that knows me like no other. He sees the changes in me, he gives me time to try to deal with situations on my own but he always knows when he needs to step in and bring me back to reality. Life changes, life can be challenging, I can't control everything around me but I can control my own destiny. Those who have gone far away are still here for me, our connection is still strong the physicality of being with them may not be possible but that only changes things slightly.
Running again has made me feel so happy. I decided to check out races in the area and found The Return of the Turkey Trot. My sister Jenn and I will be running the 8k. It makes me excited and very happy to have this goal that is very close, it will help keep me on track and motivate me in a way that I've been searching for.
November will be a different month, digging deep to grow within myself. Getting the plan set out for May 2015, readying myself for the awesomeness I will bring to the stage because I have the DRIVE, DESIRE and DISCIPLINE to be the best ME I can be.
December may bring on a fun deadlift challenge I've talked about before, 400 deadlifts. I think Kyle will be on board with that :)
Set up little goals for yourself, stay on track. Have your moments where you feel off and know there is nothing wrong with that as long as you find yourself again and continue to work hard for all of your goals!
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