There are so many factors in life that affect your body from what you eat to how much you exercise to outside factors like stress that you have no control over. All of it affects you so, so much! We all need to know our bodies, how they react to certain foods, exercise, stress, your environment, it is so SO very important.
I for one let stress get to me way too much. I've gotten a lot better, little things I can finally brush off and move forward, bigger things still hit me hard no matter what I try to do. At times my workouts are affected, my body definitely is and so is my mind. I will get a bit bloated, sore, achy joints and more acne than normal.
This past week has been a bit stressful. For anyone reading this that may not know cancer runs rampant in my family. My mom's side AND my dad's side. I've watched family members fight for their lives and sadly others who have passed away from it. The most common one though is breast cancer. My Grandma had it, aunts on both sides have had it and even my little sister Missy.
In July of 2007, the day before our sister Mindy's wedding (Mindy happens to be Missy's twin sister) Missy was diagnosed with breast cancer at the age of 23. We were SHOCKED, completely and utterly shocked. She had felt a lump and was told that it most likely was NOT cancer to get the news that is was, well we were literally floored. We all rallied around her and went with her for her first appointments to find out exactly what type she had, the prognosis and what steps needed to be taken.
Thankfully Missy kicked cancers ass, she is happily married and has two beautiful children. Myself and Mindy started getting annual mammograms after Missy's diagnosis. Early detection is key we've all learned so much in the past seven years.
About two months ago I was doing my self exam and noticed a little "something" in my left breast. To me it wasn't like a hard lump, I figured it was probably my muscle a little swollen and kept an eye on it. This past weekend I noticed it had doubled in size, still not a hard round lump that I could grab, it really is more like a mass. Kyle could feel it as well and of course my orders from Kyle were to call our family doctor immediately on Monday to get in to see her.
Now you might be thinking, why did she wait to call her doctor? I honestly thought it was something that would just go away. Ever since Missy's diagnosis I have pretty much had it in my head that I will get breast cancer in my lifetime, same with Mindy. I was more baffled than anything. I am fortunate in that I have very smooth breasts, no cysts or anything unlike my mom and sisters. The location of the mass really had me thinking it was muscular and that icing it would help. I know it might sound silly but basically I was in denial.
When I saw my doctor she was amazing, I adore her, I really do. She could see the mass when I was laying back and scheduled a mammogram right away. I had to go during the morning so I would be able to have the radiologist in the room with me so I would know immediately if there was anything to be concerned about. At this point I had it in my head that it is a cyst or some other thing that is not cancer. It was Monday when I saw my doctor and the mammogram was scheduled for Thursday morning.
Now even though I had it in my head that I do NOT have cancer I was still emotional about it. How could I not be? Maybe it would be cancer and I am more than ready to fight it, but it still made me cry for just a moment to think that it really could be that. I thought about Bella, I will always be strong for her no matter what. What if her mom has cancer? What if I do have to go through treatments and have times when I'm feeling sick from it? Will I still be able to show her how strong and tough her mommy is?
Yes I was getting ahead of myself with some of these thoughts, but still they happened. Tuesday morning I was getting ready to head out the door to take Bella to school and go to work. My back completely spasmed and I dropped to the floor. Of course it freaked out Bella but I was able to finally get back up and get going. My back was KILLING me. I had just gone to the chiropractor last week for my regular adjustment. When I went in it was crazy how much he adjusted me and then I had some stim therapy. My chiro asked if I had changed up my workouts but I hadn't, then he asked if I have had extra stress. Well yes, I had extra stress, he told me to try to relax for the next couple of days and go back in if my back wasn't feeling better.
All that stress over just a couple of days took such a toll on me, unbelievable. I have let it affect my workouts this week, by feeling exhausted and not even going to the gym.
At my mammogram today they could not see anything due to my dense breasts, so then it was an ultrasound where again they had problems with seeing exactly what the lump is. We know at this time is it not a cyst, the radiologist does not know what it is. The next step is an MRI, I am awaiting the scheduling for that.
I am certain that I do not have breast cancer, I am turning my mind set around starting NOW. Tomorrow morning I will be back in the gym starting my new workouts, YAY!!!!! Project build up Steph's shoulders, back and get those damn legs leaner is kicking into high gear! I'll be trying out some new supplements and can't wait to share with everyone how they are.
My point of this lengthy, drawn out post is this. KNOW YOUR BODY. Life is too short and we all need to take good care of our bodies, we only get one. No matter what happens with me I will continue to work toward my goals, understand a couple days of mentally dealing with things is allowed and then it is time to move forward. I have NO control over what the outcome will be, that is hard for me, time to focus on what I do have control over :)