Before I continue on with how craptastic I am feeling today I had thought to myself, do I want to share this on my blog?? Well of course I do, why would I only share the feel good stuff most of the time. That is not me being completely honest and I want to be totally honest on this journey, not only with those who take the time to read what I write but to also look back on someday.
So it just happens to be my time of the month, you know that time where we as women have no control over the up and down emotions, lack of energy, bloating. Yeah, you know what I'm talking about. Seriously I WISH men had to go through it a couple of times in their lifetime and child birth, feel like throwing that out there today too!
For myself after I had my IUD removed it seemed like somehow things weren't too bad for me. I as terrified, I was not going back on birth control, before the IUD I had major cramping issues and expected to go right back to how I was before. Shocking but I had no bloating (thankfully still don't) which was a normal thing for me, no cramps, minimal flow, I was so ok with that! It has been almost a year since I had the IUD removed.
This month is different. On Friday I wanted to cry the entire day, I really did, for no reason. Friday nights lift was hard but I pushed through and was glad I did. We all know how tough my weekend of workouts was and then my early morning workout yesterday, ay, yay, yay!!!! Well now you all know the true reason why. The flow hadn't started yet, that waited until last night.
I could barely get out of bed this morning, seriously. It was one of those, ok check the hair, do I really need to wash it??? Nope. GOOD. Quick sprinkle shower, keeping the hair dry, giving myself about 15 minutes to get ready pack up my food and gym bag and head to work.
Today the flow is really bad, I had hoped my body fat was low enough that this month would be an easy month, nope. Just to be clear I am in no way saying anyone should keep their body fat low to keep away their menstrual cycle or make it less. It was though an honest thought in my mind, a hopeful one for myself. My strength is completely depleted, I have zero energy, two mugs of coffee and still feeling so ick.
Thankfully for me I only feel this bad one day out of about five. I'm hoping that stays true this week. I am going to do the tabata elliptical workout on my lunch hour and not go to the gym tonight. GASP!!!!!!!
I know, I know, I should just push through it, right? Wrong. Today is HEAVY leg day. My body is screaming at me today, I can hear her and she is so very loud. Letting me know that if I plan to squat and deadlift heavy this week, it is NOT going to happen tonight. No matter how much pre workout I take, or BCAA's I drink up or carbs I eat today beforehand, it won't matter.
I am listening to my body, checked with my trainer and got the ok to "only" do the elliptical workout and add in legs tomorrow with shoulders or add back squats and deadlifts to my 2nd more "plyo" style leg day on Friday.
If I attempted the gym tonight I would be lowering my weights, not a huge issue, but for me personally not something I want to do. I would feel disappointed, angry, emotional and even with David there with me it would be a sad, anger inducing evening.
There you have it, not every day is happy lifting and feeling strong. There are days where I feel like the weakest person, but I will admit that and be open about it because that is how I am.
So fitting for today, Love Your Body Challenge happens to be this:
I strive to be myself ever day, really focusing on that. Trying very hard not to compare myself to others, I mean come on that is HARD, it really is. Also sharing those days with you when I'm not my normal positive self.
Happy to be ME, to know myself well enough when I NEED a rest day, when my body needs that momentary break, yes even during competition prep. I'm sure a lot of competitors wouldn't take a break, but I am me, right? :)
Here's to a rest day, after work I truly can see myself making up a quick dinner of egg whites and going to bed. We need sleep for our muscles to recover and grow, so my plan for the day is a good one for ME.
Stay true to yourself, your goals and follow your own path.
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