I'm not sure if it is the low fat affecting my brain, I've had a lot of "deep" thoughts in regard to competing the past couple of days. It is interesting that while I have these thoughts things pop up around me that just make sense.
When I first began this process all I knew was that I wanted to challenge myself. I wanted to stand on that stage presenting all of my hard work and have fun doing it. Training to compete would get me in the best shape of my life which would carry over to helping me improve for volleyball, running and just get myself in a better place health wise.
So I did that, I loved it and decided to continue competing. Do I have some huge goal like earning my pro card, competing on the National level, trying to qualify for some BIG competitions?
I honestly don't know right now. I am enjoying this so much, I truly am. The changes in myself are huge, I'm not just talking changes in my body, just all around.
I saw this post yesterday on Facebook from Brooke Erickson, an awesome page. She is so honest, humble and simply amazing.
It's important for you to remind yourself of why you are on this journey. It's easy to get lost in the process... to get distracted by our own minds. Just remember- to the left of you, the right of you, in front of you, and behind you...there will always be someone that is stronger, faster, bigger, or leaner. But when you know you who you are and when you know your purpose...who they are and what they have... is irrelevant to you.
It really hit home for me and made for an interesting conversation with Kyle. I realize that I am perfectly happy to compete as an amateur, the pro card is not on my list of priorities. I will continue to work hard, to grow in body, mind and spirit. Enjoying this journey as long as I choose to be on it with the full support of Kyle and Bella, my family and friends, all my biggest cheerleaders.
To hear Kyle say how proud he is of me, to know that this has brought us closer, to know the positive influence this is having on Bella, it makes me smile and warms my heart.
I may not have some huge goal in mind or know how long this journey will last but I do know that it has changed me for the better.